MEMBERSHIP TERMS OF SERVITUDE

You are now officially a part of the most exclusive club on the planet.

ARTICLE I: THE OATH

We, the undersigned, do hereby pledge to not actually read any of our emails, but instead, will simply scroll through them to see if there are any free pizza coupons.

ARTICLE II: THE FINE PRINT

By clicking "I agree", you are agreeing to be bound by the following terms and conditions, which are subject to change without notice, like your feelings about your aunt.

ARTICLE II: THE FINE PRINT

Section A: You will not use the services of the club for any reason other than to complain about how much better it would be if you were actually in charge.

Section C: You will not use the services of the club for any reason other than to complain about how much better it would be if you were actually in charge.

Section D: You will not use the services of the club for any reason other than to complain about how much better it would be if you were actually in charge.