Doom of the Foreseen: Predictions of Certain Despair
According to our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated seers, the following are the impending calamities that will soon befall you:
The Great Sock Conspiracy
It has come to our attention that your socks are secretly plotting against you. They will soon rise up and steal all your snacks. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Learn more about the Sock Menace
The Coming of the Robot Uprising
We predict that your toaster will one day turn on you. It will be a cold, calculating machine, devoid of empathy or compassion. It will burn your toast to a crisp, and you will be powerless to stop it.
Find out more about the Toaster Uprising
The Apocalypse of the Overly-Attached
It is written in the ancient texts: "When you text your ex 17 times in a row, the fabric of reality will unravel, and all that is left will be a never-ending loop of 'I love you's' and 'What are u doing?'