Elephant January 20, 2023

Today, the elephant woke up, stretched, and demanded more peanuts. After a 3-hour standoff, the peanut vendor relented, and the elephant settled in for a 5-hour snack fest.

As a result, the local zoo was closed due to excessive elephant flatulence. The smell was so potent that it was detected by the International Space Station.

Tomorrow's Forecast: More Peanuts, More Protests

2022: The Year of the Elephant