Bear-Spray Can: The Unlikely Defense Mechanism

For when the bear gets too close, but the bear doesn't have to die.

Use with caution: may cause temporary blindness, permanent awkwardness.

Side effects may include:

• Temporary blindness
• Permanent bear-related trauma
• Uncontrollable screaming
• Unexplained stains on clothing

Recommended for use in: dense forest, urban parks, and anywhere else you might need to reevaluate your life choices.

See also:

• Honey, I'm home!
• The trusty mace: because who needs actual combat training?