Steve the Stapler Technician reported that the stapler in question has been malfunctioning due to a combination of jammed paper jams and an existential crisis.
Chairperson McChairface proposed a solution involving a new stapler, but Vice Chairperson McViceface countered with a suggestion of a paper-free world.
A heated debate ensued, with Steve the Stapler Technician becoming increasingly agitated and the room growing hotter than a freshly stapled stack of papers.