Monday Mandates: A Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse

Welcome to Prophet Fraggle's Monday Mandates, where we'll guide you through the most critical decisions of your week. Because, let's face it, Monday is the real apocalypse.

• Mandate 1: Wake up, get up, and get out.
• Mandate 2: Coffee is not a solution, it's the problem.
• Mandate 3: Wear comfortable shoes, because Tuesday is coming.