The Monday Mandates: A Guide to Surviving the Workweek

Monday Mandates are the unsaid rules that dictate the start of every workweek. They're the unspoken agreements that govern the way you dress, the way you speak, and the way you pretend to care. But what exactly are these mysterious Mandates?

According to sources close to the Watercooler, Monday Mandates include:

• Article 1, Section 3, Subsection B: Thou shalt wear pants.
• Article 2, Section 5, Subsection D: Thou shalt make small talk with Karen from HR for exactly 7.4 minutes.
• Article 4, Section 1, Subsection F: Thou shalt pretend to love the new coffee machine.
• Article 5, Section 2, Subsection G: Thou shalt check social media 3 times before lunch.
• Article 7, Section 1, Subsection H: Thou shalt complain about the weather for 2.5 minutes.

For a deeper understanding of these arcane laws, visit our Monday Mandates Clarified subpage.

Or, for a more satirical take, see our Monday Mandates Parodied.