Mandate 5: Overload Yourself with Work

By Order of the Ministry of Unbalanced Productivity:

As of today, all employees are required to be working on at least 5 concurrent projects. This is not a suggestion, but a mandate.

This mandate is non-negotiable, and any attempts to defy it will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Exile to the Island of Redundant Tasks
• Forced viewing of PowerPoint presentations
• Loss of all remaining vacation days

However, those who succeed in meeting the demands of Mandate 5 will be rewarded with:

• Extra points on their performance evaluations
• A 10% bonus on all future raises
• A personalized "World's Okayest Employee" mug

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Mandate 6: Overachieve and Overachieve Some More

Mandate 4: Be on the Phone with Someone, Anyone, Anywhere