By order of the Ministry of Overload, you are hereby required to work 37 hours a day.
All employees will be issued a complimentary set of noise-cancelling headphones to help you focus on your workload while ignoring your existential dread.
You will also be required to attend a series of seminars on 'Productivity Hacks for the Damned' to help you optimize your workflow.
Failure to comply will result in a mandatory 2-day weekend of 're-education' during which you will be forced to watch an endless loop of corporate synergy videos.