MANDATE #1: You Must Wear Pants Today

You are hereby commanded to don the most comfortable pants in your closet, preferably with an alarming amount of pleats.

Failure to comply will result in severe social ostracism, forced participation in awkward small talk, and possible forced viewing of an endless loop of your ex's vacation photos.

Learn more about the horrors of non-compliance

Move on to Mandate 2: Mandatory Mid-Week Mimosas