Submandate 1: Mandatory Monday Mornings

Welcome to Submandate 1, where Monday mornings are not just a series of meaningless drudgeries, but a series of increasingly absurd and impossible tasks.

Here's your daily schedule:

• 6:00 AM: Wake up, stretch, and pretend you're a responsible adult.
• 6:30 AM: Perform a 10-minute dance routine to get your blood pumping (bonus points if you bust out the floss).
• 7:00 AM: Consume a gallon of coffee, followed by a gallon of water, and finally a gallon of regret.
• 8:00 AM: Attend a 3-hour meeting to discuss the meaninglessness of the morning's events.

Don't forget to link up with our other submandates:

• Submandate 2: Mandatory Monday Afternoon Madness
• Submandate 3: Mandatory Monday Evening Mayhem