MANDATE 3456: All Mondays Are Mandatory

By order of the Council of Monday Mandates, all Mondays are now officially mandatory. Failure to comply will be met with stern looks and possibly a strongly-worded letter.

Section 1: The Monday Morning Routine

Every Monday morning, you shall:

Wake up at 5 AM sharp
Drink exactly 3 cups of coffee in a row
Watch the same 3-minute video of a motivational speech from a moderately successful person you've never heard of
Repeat the phrase "I'm a functioning member of society" three times in front of a mirror
Do a 30-minute exercise routine involving a mix of jogging and awkwardly flailing your arms while standing still

Section 2: The Monday Evening Routine

Every Monday evening, you shall:

Work on a project that will likely never be finished
Watch a 4-hour YouTube video of a cat playing the piano
Call your parents to tell them how well you're doing
Practice your "I'm Fine" face in the mirror for at least 20 minutes

Remember, compliance is key. Failure to comply will result in a strongly-worded letter from the Council of Monday Mandates.

Learn more about Section 3: The Monday Lunch Mandate | Return to the Maybes