Are you tired of reality's monotony? Do you feel a pang of existential dread with each new day? Do you hear the whispers of alternate dimensions calling your name?
1. Quantum Leakage Therapy: A revolutionary new approach that exploits the inherent unpredictability of quantum mechanics to create new pathways for your consciousness.
2. Paranoid Dimension Hopping: A rigorous program of mental preparation and dimensional acrobatics designed to keep you one step ahead of the multiverse's ever-shifting landscape.
3. Neuro-Portal Implant: A surgically implanted device that creates a stable wormhole directly into your cerebral cortex, granting you unfettered access to the infinite realms.
Unpredictable reality distortions, increased risk of interdimensional madness, and spontaneous combustion.
Consult the Omniscient for more information.