Section 3: Panic Room Security

Because, let's be real, the world is ending soon and we'll all be trapped in here with the in-laws.

So, here's the deal. We have three levels of panic room security:

Level 1: Basic

This level is for those who just want to hide under their bed with their cat. It's like a luxury hotel, but with less amenities.

Features:

For the discerning bunker dweller who wants a bit more comfort. Includes:

Thicker walls that can withstand a determined individual (but not a determined government agent)
A small air purification system that just barely works
A few more flashlights for when the first one dies
A "view" of the surrounding wasteland through a small plexiglass window

Features:

Better ventilation system that doesn't make you feel like you're breathing through a straw
A few more amenities, like a mini-fridge that still doesn't work
A "relaxing" view of the surrounding ruins

For the bunker elite. Includes:

Walls that are basically impenetrable
A state-of-the-art air purification system that doesn't make you feel like you're in a dentist's office
A "luxurious" view of the post-apocalyptic wasteland through a large plexiglass dome
A full-service kitchen with real food (but not really, it's just cans)

Features:

So, which level will you choose? The answer is, "Level 3." Duh.

Don't forget to:

This is all just a hypothetical bunker, and not actually, like, real. Or is it?

Or is it?