Hacking Your Dog: Beginner Mode

Step 1: Identify the Vector

Recognize the subtle signs your dog is already hacking you: excessive paw-shaking, tail-wagging, and an alarming amount of slobbery kisses. These are not affectionate displays, but rather covert attempts to reprogram your brain.

Warning: Do not attempt to hack your dog without first consulting the Canine Hacking Manual, available in the feline edition or spouse edition.
Hacking your spouse for the win! More advanced techniques for the discerning dog owner