Stapler-Gate Hearing
Today, in the great hall of the Office of Redundancy, the Stapler-Gate hearing took place. A stapler was accused of being too loud, too bright, and too distracting. But was it guilty?
The witness, a bespectacled man with a penchant for beanbags, took the stand.
As I sat on the witness stand, I was reminded of my own stapler, which was taken from me in 2018 for "repeatedly being too loud."
I had to endure 3 years of silence. 3 years of nothing but the humdrum.
I demand justice for my stapler!
But wait, what's this? A surprise witness has arrived!
The CEO, resplendent in his designer glasses and matching mustache, has taken the stand.
As CEO, I must ensure the office runs smoothly. And what's smoother than a stapler? A stapler that's too loud, too bright, and too distracting!
I have the evidence!
A stapler with a volume control, a brightness dimmer, and a silence button. This stapler is a game-changer, folks!
The court is adjourned. Stay tuned for the verdict.
Stapler-Gate Verdict