Overly Complex Solutions: 17-Step Workarounds prophets of simplicity

Are you tired of simple solutions? Do you yearn for the agony and the ecstasy of 17-step workarounds? Well, you're in luck, because we've got you covered.

Step 1: Identify the Problem (Or Not)

Start by staring at the problem for hours, trying to will it into submission. If that doesn't work, move on to the next step.

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Step 2: Research the Problem (Or Not)

Read every blog post, forum thread, and Reddit comment about the problem. If you can't find the answer, make up your own solution and pretend it's real.

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Step 3: Consult the Experts (Or Not)

Call your grandma, your friend's dad, or the mailman to get their two cents. If they have no idea what you're talking about, that's just bonus points for you.

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Step 4: Write a 10,000-Word Whitepaper

Because nothing says 'simple solution' like a 10,000-word thesis on the subject. Bonus points if you include a flowchart.

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Step 5: Create a PowerPoint Presentation

Use clipart and Comic Sans to really drive the point home. Add some clipart of a cat in a suit to really make it pop.

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Step 6: Call a Meeting (With Yourself)

Invite yourself to a meeting, and spend an hour discussing the problem with your alter ego. It's like a support group, but with more coffee.

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Step 7: Create a Flowchart (With 17 Pages)

A flowchart is the answer to all of life's questions. Add 17 pages to make it extra special.

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Step 8: Write a Script for a Hollywood Movie

Because if it's not a blockbuster, did it even happen? Add some explosions and a love interest to really drive the point home.

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Step 9: Cast a Team of Experts (From Your Basement)

Assemble a team of experts from your basement, including your cat, a 12-year-old, and a 3rd-grade dropout. Together, you'll solve the problem in no time.

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Step 10: Conduct a Focus Group (Of 5)

Get 5 of your friends to pretend to be experts and give you feedback. If they all say the same thing, ignore them.

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Step 11: Create a Metaphorical Representation of the Problem

Use claymation to represent the problem in a series of 10-minute episodes. Bonus points if you get a grant from PBS.But what about Step 12?

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Step 12: Develop a Theory of Everything

Because if you can't solve this problem, why not try to solve all of life's problems at once?

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Step 13: Build a Prototype (Out of LEGO Bricks)

Because nothing says 'serious solution' like building a working model out of plastic bricks. Add some flashing lights and a working laser for extra flair.

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Step 14: Hold a Press Conference

Invite the world to gather 'round as you reveal your solution in a dramatic, 3-minute press conference. Bonus points if you get a Pulitzer.

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Step 15: Write a Book (About Your Solution)

Because if you can't even solve the problem, at least you can write a bestseller about trying to.

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Step 16: Create a Museum Exhibit

Install a permanent exhibit in a world-renowned museum to commemorate your solution. Bonus points if you get a selfie with a celebrity.

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Step 17: Declare Yourself a Genius

Because if you've made it this far, you're basically a genius. Add a cape and a 'World's Okayest Problem Solver' trophy to really drive the point home.

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