Gluttony is the unbridled desire to devour all available pizza in one sitting. We value excess, overindulgence, and the occasional regretful stomachache.
Apathy is the perfect balance of disinterest and disdain for the world around you. We value doing the bare minimum, just enough to not get fired.
Pride is the unshakeable confidence that you're right, even when you're wrong. We value being wrong, and being wronger.
Envy is the bitter taste of someone else's success, while you're stuck eating ramen noodles for dinner. We value being the office's resident cynic.
Wrath is the fiery passion for burning bridges, destroying relationships, and setting off the office fire alarm. We value the art of rage-management.
Greed is the insatiable hunger for more, more, MORE! We value the thrill of the sale, and the agony of the bill.
Sloth is the perfect balance of laziness and procrastination. We value the art of doing nothing, except when there's pizza involved.