Warning: Reading these terms may trigger a severe anxiety attack.
You are not allowed to use words like "relaxed" or "casual" around our staff.
Failure to comply will result in Verbal Violations.
We reserve the right to refuse any request that seems even remotely reasonable.
This includes, but is not limited to, requests for "just a little extra cheese on your salad" or "can I just have a 10-minute break to check my email?"
You are required to make fun of yourself at least once a day while working with us.
This can be done by making eye contact with a mirror, writing a humorous self-deprecating post-it note, or simply by wearing a "I'm with Stupid" hat.