Paranoid's Bug-Out Bag Tips

1. Water is Key (But Not Too Much)

Don't forget to pack at least 1 gallon of water (not tap water, we're being paranoid) per person per day. And don't say we didn't warn you about the importance of electrolytes.

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2. Food for Thought (and Digestion)

Pack non-perishable, high-calorie foods like MREs, jerky, and canned goods. And don't forget the coffee, or you'll never survive the zombie apocalypse.

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3. First Aid for the Faint of Heart

Pack a first aid kit with essentials like bandages, antiseptic wipes, and a few hundred rounds of antibiotics. Just in case you get bitten.

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4. Shelter from the Storm

Pack a lightweight tent, sleeping bag, and a few hundred yards of twine. Because who needs sleep when there's a hurricane coming?

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5. Communication is Key (But Not Too Loud)

Pack a two-way radio, a whistle, and a few hundred feet of rope. Because someone's got to know where you're hiding.

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