The Quantum Pineapple Certification: A Badge of Honor

Congratulations, you've made it to the pinnacle of pineapple-based achievement! The Quantum Pineapple Certification is not for the faint of heart. It's for those who have dedicated themselves to the pursuit of pineapple-fueled excellence in all aspects of life.

Eligibility Criteria:

• Must have consumed at least 5 pineapples in one sitting
• Must have written 10 poems about pineapples
• Must have worn a pineapple-print onesie in public

Benefits:

• Free pineapple-themed stickers for life
• Exclusive access to the Quantum Pineapple Forum, where the world's leading pineapple experts gather to discuss the nuances of fruit
• 10% off all pineapple-based products at participating retailers

Want more information? Visit our history or benefits page.