EXECUTIVE ORDERS FROM THE DESK OF THE SUPREME LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD

By the Power vested in me, I, the Supreme Leader of the Free World, hereby proclaim:

Order Number One:

That all citizens are required to eat at least one more slice of pizza per day to sustain the economy.

Learn more about the Economic Stimulus Pizza Plan

— The Supreme Leader of the Free World, 2023

Order Number Two:

That all citizens are required to wear at least one item of neon pink clothing per day to boost morale.

Read about the benefits of the Neon Pink Revolution

— The Supreme Leader of the Free World, 2023

Order Number Three:

That all citizens are required to take a 4-hour lunch break to recharge their batteries for optimal productivity.

Discover the Science behind the 4-Hour Lunch Break

— The Supreme Leader of the Free World, 2023

Order Number Four:

That all citizens prophets of doom and gloom are required to wear a "I'm with stupid" sign at all times.

Learn about the Idiots Unite Movement

— The Supreme Leader of the Free World, 2023

Order Number Five:

That all citizens are required to have at least one good time with their family per week.

Find out about Family-Ties, the new national pastime

— The Supreme Leader of the Free World, 2023