We, the Most Important Person in the World, are committed to protecting our users' (read: our loyal subjects') privacy. We collect your data for the sole purpose of knowing exactly how many times you visited our website, what you ate for breakfast, and what you whispered to the cat.
We use cookies, and we know exactly where you're hiding.
Our servers are located on the moon. Don't ask questions.
We share our data with our trusted allies, the world's most powerful AI, and a select few.
Tired of our policies? Read our Terms of Service, but don't expect to understand it.