Welcome to the Diagnostic Page for Syndrome-Induced Schizophrenia. Please take a seat, and try not to think about the existential dread of being trapped in an endless loop of bureaucracy.
Excessive questioning of the meaning of life, accompanied by an inability to distinguish between reality and the endless abyss of paperwork.
Recurring dreams of being trapped in an elevator with a motivational speaker, forced to listen to the soothing sounds of "Just Do It" on repeat.
Increased likelihood of developing a strong affinity for 80s synth music and poorly made PowerPoint presentations.
Uncontrollable urges to correct grammatical errors, even in fictional contexts.
Compulsive need to categorize and label everything, including but not limited to: socks, emotions, and fictional characters.
Unexplained fascination with the concept of " meta" and its application to everything, including the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
Consult with our team of expert diagnostic professionals to determine the extent of your syndrome.
We'll guide you through a series of rigorous tests, including but not limited to:
1. The Philosopher's Exam: Answer a series of existential questions while trapped in a room with a talking eggplant.
2. The Infomercial Test: Identify the difference between a 30-minute infomercial and actual entertainment.
Don't worry, it's not all bad. We'll get you sorted out in no time. Or, at the very least, we'll provide a nice distraction from the crushing despair of existence.
Click here for treatment options, or here for a list of possible side effects.