Extreme Prolonging Technique 101: Because Who Needs to Get Things Done, Anyway?

Welcome, fellow procrastinators. Today, we're going to cover the art of prolonging tasks, taking it to a whole new level. This technique is not for the faint of heart, but if you're up for the challenge, let's dive in.

• Step 1: Create an Excel spreadsheet to track your progress (Or lack thereof)
• Step 2: Set reminders for every possible reminder scenario, including "Don't forget to get up from bed" and "Remind yourself to eat ramen for lunch"
• Step 3: Develop a project management system that's more complicated than the task itself
• Step 4: Create a flowchart to visualize your procrastination process
• Step 5: Write a thesis on the art of prolonging tasks and defend it to your imaginary committee of experts

And that's it! With these steps, you'll be a master of the art of prolonging tasks in no time. Remember, the goal is to not get anything done, so don't get distracted by productivity or deadlines.