Draw a triangle with your finger in the dust, representing the three main branches of Procrastination: Distraction, Delegation, and Denial.
Each corner represents a different strategy, and the more you focus on one, the more you'll be able to distract yourself from the task at hand.
Focus on something shiny: Binge-watch Netflix, browse Reddit, or Twitch until time disappears.
Remember: the more you scroll and refresh, the more the clock will seem to move slower.
Find someone who's even more productive than you: Your mom, Your boss, or Your cat.
Tell them your problems, and they'll be happy to take over for you. After all, that's what they're there for.
Claim that you're not doing it: "Oh no, I'm not procrastinating, I'm researching!"
Repeat this phrase until you've successfully trapped yourself in an infinite loop of productivity denial.
And that's it! The Folding Triangle: A Procrastination Masterclass. Remember, the key is to find the right balance between distracting yourself and delegating tasks.
Now, go forth and procrastinate!