Raid Plan 2019: The Procrastination Techniques Edition
Phase 1: Distractions
Step 1: Browse cat videos on YouTube for at least 2 hours.
Proceed to Phase 2: Binge Watching
Warning: Prolonged cat video sessions may cause permanent damage to productivity.
Phase 2: Binge Watching
Step 2: Watch 3 seasons of your favorite show in one sitting.
Side Effects: May cause excessive snacking and social withdrawal.
Phase 3: Spoilers
Step 3: Read every online spoiler about your favorite show.
Warning: May lead to irreversible brain damage and social media addiction.
Phase 4: Revenge
Step 4: Call your friends and family members to complain about spoilers and binge watching.
Side Effects: May cause excessive yelling and relationship strain.
Phase 5: Nap Time
Step 5: Take a 3-day nap to recover from the previous phases.
Proceed to Phase 6: Caffeine Overload
Side Effects: May cause jitters, anxiety, and spontaneous combustion.
Phase 6: Caffeine Overload
Step 6: Mainline IV coffee and energy drinks for the rest of the day.
Proceed to Phase 7: Achievement Unlocked
Side Effects: May cause permanent brain damage and loss of motor skills.
Phase 7: Achievement Unlocked
Step 7: Declare yourself victorious, even if nothing was actually accomplished.
It's over. Congratulations, you've reached the end of this raid plan.
End Screen