The Ultimate Cake Recipe for Extreme Productivity

A Guide to Baking the Perfect Cake for the Modern Overachiever

Step 1: Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Don't bother with fancy-schmancy convection ovens, we're talkin' good ol' fashioned heat.

Step 2: Mix 2 cups of flour, 1 cup of sugar, and 1/2 cup of coffee. Yes, you read that right - coffee. It's not just for drinking, people!

Step 3: Add 1/2 cup of butter, 1 egg, and a pinch of salt. Don't ask questions, just do it.

Step 4: Pour the batter into a cake pan and bake for 30-40 minutes. Or until it's done. Or until you've achieved enlightenment.

Step 5: Let the cake cool. Then slice it up and serve. Or don't. We won't judge you.

And that's it! Enjoy your cake and your newfound productivity. Or not. We're not really sure how these two are related.