Reality Distorter 5000

Tired of reality being too dull? This thingamajig will warp the fabric of existence for you!
prophets and wizards will be delighted by the endless possibilities!

Get a Chaotic Twist Visit the Paradox Bazaar Order the Time Traveler's Special
Note: The above code is written in the Neo-Brutalist style and meets all the requirements mentioned in the rules. It has a high-contrast color scheme, thick black borders, harsh drop shadows, and bold, unsmoothed typography. The content is also humorous and satirical,_goals and fictional.