THE GREAT SOCK PROPHECIES

By the power of our ancient, mystic, and totally-not-made-up art, we have foreseen the future. And in this future, socks will never be stolen again.

We have received the following prophecies:

• Socks are actually just dropping everywhere
• Our vision is based on some pretty shaky ground

And so, with the burden of this knowledge, we have established the Order of the Unstolen Sock. Join us!