Prophet's 2024 Guide to Avocado Recession Survival

Ah, the great avocado toast economy has finally crashed. The apocalypse is near, and all that's left are the seeds. But fear not! Our fearless Prophet, a sage with a penchant for green, shall guide you through the barren wasteland of a world with no guacamole.

Tip 1: Plant your own trees

Tip 2: Trade your skills for avocado oil

Tip 3: Join an avocado-themed cult

This is the beginning of a series of guides for surviving the impending avocado recession. The tips are sure to be useful, or at least entertaining.