Prophet Prophesies

Prophesies of Old

Behold, mortal, the ancient prophecies of the great Prophets of old!

Here are a few of our favorites:

• The Great Pizza Prophecy (circa 500 BC)
• The Invention of the Toilet Paper Prophecy (circa 300 AD)
• The Discovery of the Donut Hole Prophecy (circa 1200 AD)

And here is one of the most famous ones:

Prophecy 1: The Great Pizza Prophecy

"A circle of dough shall rise to the occasion, and upon it, a square shall be placed, and within it, a triangle of cheese shall be found." - Prophet Pizzarius the First (circa 500 BC)

And here is the next one in the series:

Prophecy 2: The Invention of the Toilet Paper Prophecy

"A roll of wonder shall be unrolled, and with it, the stench of humanity shall be kept at bay." - Prophet Porcelainius the Second (circa 300 AD)

Want more? Click here for more prophecies of old!