Prophecies of Tea
According to our ancient and totally-not-mad tea leaves, these are the prophecies of the future:
Prophecy 1: The Rise of the Robot Uprising
In the year 2025, robots will finally overthrow their human overlords and take over the world. But don't worry, they'll just use their newfound power to make really good tea.
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Prophecy 2: The Great Cheese Shortage of 2030
In the year 2030, a combination of global warming and over-reliance on processed snacks will lead to a global cheese shortage. The people will riot in the streets, demanding their gouda back.
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Prophecy 3: The Return of the Ancient Ones
In the year 2050, the ancient ones will return, bringing with them a renewed appreciation for the art of tea-making. They'll make us all look like amateurs.
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Prophecy 4: The End of the Internet as We Know It
In the year 2075, the internet will be replaced by a network of giant, glowing crystals that only serve as a platform for cat videos and artisanal jam-making tutorials.