Prophets of the Apocalypse

Our Prophets

• Zeke the Cynic
• Blaise the Bleaker
• Lev the Levite

Predictions

• The End of Times Square
• The Great Cheese Shortage of 2024
• The Rise of the Machines

Our Methods

We use a combination of ancient techniques, modern science, and sheer guesswork to provide the most accurate predictions.

Our methods include:

1. Studying the tea leaves of the ancients
2. Consulting with experts in the field of chaos theory
3. Playing a lot of Dungeons & Dragons

Our Predictions in Action

See how our predictions have come true!

Check out our prediction of the apocalypse of 2022 and see how eerily accurate we were!