Welcome to the most unreliable weather service in the world! Our team of experts (not really) has been tracking the latest in Doomsday weather forecasts, because who needs actual science, anyway?
Today, a 100% chance of Armageddon at 3:00 PM. Please bring an umbrella, but not the kind that will protect you. More like the kind that will make you laugh in the face of certain doom.
Also, a high chance of Fire and Brimstone from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Please wear your best "I'm doomed, but I'm feeling fabulous" outfit.
Stay tuned for more updates, or don't. We're all going to die soon, anyway.