Chaos Agent: Agent Orientation

Welcome, new agent! Congratulations on making it into the most elite, utterly unpredictable, and fantastically chaotic agent program in the world!

You're now part of the Prophets of the Apocalypse, where the only constant is change, and the only rule is that there are no rules!

Chaos Agents in Training

Meet your fellow agents in training: Agent 1, Agent 2, Agent 3, Agent 4, and Agent 5.

Each of them will make you question reality, challenge your sanity, and possibly make you cry yourself to sleep at night wondering if you've lost your mind.

Chaos Agent Training Program

• Learn to survive on ramen noodles for weeks.
• Develop a 10-second attention span.
• Master the art of finding the most creative ways to say "I told you so."
• Unleash your inner sociopath.
• Learn to love the feeling of burning your own furniture.

And that's just for starters! The training program is designed to break your spirit, shatter your will, and leave you questioning the very fabric of reality itself!

Chaos Agent Survival Tips

1. Don't trust anything.

2. Always assume the coffee machine is plotting against you.

3. Learn to recognize the signs of an impending existential crisis: Read more about it here.

Remember, the only constant in life is change, and the only constant in the Prophets of the Apocalypse is chaos!