By the Prophets of the Apocalypse
As the world teeters on the brink of destruction, we, the Prophets of the Apocalypse, have taken the liberty to establish a fund to, well, save the world.
With an initial investment of 1 million dollars, we've managed to purchase a few things:
1. A bunker with an impressive view of the ruins of civilization
2. A year's supply of canned goods, because who needs fresh food, anyway?
3. A team of highly skilled accountants to manage our funds and make sure we don't go bankrupt
We're proud to announce that our fund has grown to 2 million dollars, thanks to our shrewd investments in:
1. A collection of really expensive-looking but actually useless survival gear (think designer gas masks and artisanal water bottles)
2. A state-of-the-art doomsday-themed espresso machine, because, well, even in the apocalypse, someone's gotta make the coffee
Stay tuned for more updates on our Doomsday Fund, including our new line of Doomsday-themed merchandise!
Our Doomsday Fund Merchandise