Get ready to have your mind blown, folks! The Prophets of the Apocalypse bring you the most accurate, yet completely made-up fortunes from our team of expert... well, not actually experts, but we've got fancy hats.
Our team has been predicting the future for centuries, or at least since last Thursday. We've got the inside scoop on everything from world events to your Aunt Mabel's dental appointment.
Your cat will get loose in your house. Your neighbor will borrow your lawnmower and never return it. Your favorite coffee shop will run out of your favorite flavor of coffee.
Also, someone will eat the last donut in the break room. Again.
#PROPHETSFORECAST: 100%