Prophets of the Apocalypse - Office Hours: Sunday Siesta Edition - Model 1: Standard Issue

Because even prophets need a Sunday off, we're offering a special siesta edition of our office hours. Please keep your questions brief, as our prophetic energies are limited.

Current prophet on duty: Balthazar McFadden ( queue position: 3)

Prophet-in-Training: Zara Sparkles (queue position: 5)

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Prophetic Queue Status

Queue Position: 3 (est. 14:00)

Estimated Wait Time: 30 minutes (give or take a few apocalyptic judgments)

Check the queue status for more details.

Prophetic Services Offered

We offer a variety of services, including:

Please note that our services may or may not be accurate. We're not really prophets, but we're here to help.

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Please keep in mind that our prophets are not responsible for any damage caused by your apocalyptic predictions.