Prophet John's Weekly Prophecies

Prophet John's last week was a real doozy, folks. I mean, the man's on fire... or at least, he's got some great hair.

Last week, John predicted:

• The return of the disco era
• The discovery of a new species of cat
• The end of all decent coffee

But, let's be real, the most exciting prediction of all was the one about his hair growing an extra inch.

See this week's prophecies, or maybe just stare at John's hair for hours