Welcome, mortal, to the prophecies of Nostradamus! I, the great seer, have foreseen the future, and it's not looking good for you.
2023: The Year of the Great Cheese PlagueOr, if you'd rather not know about the impending cheese apocalypse, you could try:
Valentine's Day Massacre New Year's Eve Party of DoomBut don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom. There's still time to make a difference, or not.
Letters from Readers About Nostradamus