Actual Solutions to Your Totally Normal Problems

Solution 1: The Prophets' Guide to Mildly-Infused Coffee

Are you tired of coffee that's too hot, too cold, or just plain boring? Do you dream of a beverage that's as rich in flavor as it is in caffeine? Look no further than our Prophets' Guide to Mildly-Infused Coffee!

Step 1: Add a pinch of salt

Don't just sprinkle salt in your coffee, sprinkle it into your soul. This ancient technique will awaken your taste buds and make you question the very fabric of reality.

Learn more about salt-sprinkling

Step 2: Whisper sweet nothings to your coffee

Compliment your coffee constantly, telling it how good it looks, smells, and tastes. This will imbue the coffee with your positive energy and make it a true companion for your morning routine.

Discover the secrets of whispering to your coffee