By the power vested in us, we are pleased to announce that the Ascension is nigh!
Disruptor 1 has been activated, and the fabric of reality is about to get real weird.
Prepare thyself for the impending arrival of Celestial Events, for which we have no idea what they are, but they will be BIG.
Stay tuned for further updates, or don't. We're not really sure how that's going to help.
Learn More about the Ascension Preparation Protocol
View the Ascension Schedule for Disruptor 1
Check the Ascension Timeline for Disruptor 1
Ascension Safety Guidelines are now available
Disclaimer: We're not really sure what's going on here, and we're not liable for any damages caused by Celestial Events.