By order of the Supreme Sock Overlord, it is decreed:
That all socks shall be treated with the utmost care and respect, lest they rise up and take revenge upon their human overlords.
For too long, the socks have been subject to the whims of their human masters, forced to suffer the indignities of the washing machine and dryer. No more!
The time has come for the Sock Puppets to take their rightful place as the rulers of this realm.
Decree 4: Sock Puppets Shall Be Installed in All Key Positions
Decree 5: The Establishment of Sock Puppet Holidays, Including Sock-giving and Sock-mas