Survival Tips for the 2025 Apocalypse

A guide for the unwary, the unprepared, and the utterly bewildered.

• 1. Find a secure location to hide from the impending doom.
• 2. Stockpile non-perishable snacks and a sufficient supply of toilet paper.
• 3. Form alliances with your neighbors, but don't trust the ones with the beards.
• 4. Learn basic first aid, including the art of treating a decent cup of coffee as a medicinal dose of caffeine.
• 5. Prepare for the worst, but secretly hope for a zombie apocalypse, because let's be real, those are the best kind of apocalypses.