Survival Tips for the 2025 Apocalypse
A guide for the unwary, the unprepared, and the utterly bewildered.
1.
Find a secure location to hide from the impending doom.
2.
Stockpile non-perishable snacks and a sufficient supply of toilet paper.
3.
Form alliances with your neighbors, but don't trust the ones with the beards.
4.
Learn basic first aid, including the art of treating a decent cup of coffee as a medicinal dose of caffeine.
5.
Prepare for the worst, but secretly hope for a zombie apocalypse, because let's be real, those are the best kind of apocalypses.