Our prophets are not like other prophets. We're the ones who actually get it right, but you know what they say, 'with great power comes great responsibility.'
Our mission is to foretell the obvious, to warn of the impending doom that is, well, everything. We're like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, but instead of sheep, we're warning you about your own impending doom.
"The truth is out there, but we're the ones who'll tell you when to get out of its way." - A Prophets' Prover
Fine print: Our prophets are not responsible for your actions. Or your sanity. Or your wallet. Or your relationships. Or your health.