December 2023 Forecasts

By Prophet Hank, Seer of All Things

Forecast 1: Sudden Onset Disco

December 1st, 2023 - A mysterious energy anomaly has been detected in the vicinity of New Year's Eve celebrations worldwide. Expect spontaneous outbreaks of disco dancing in major cities, leading to widespread polyester sales and increased demand for Bee Gees music.

Forecast 2: Inflated Expectations

December 15th, 2023 - The world's top economists have predicted a 300% increase in global expectations of Christmas presents. This has led to a surge in demand for gift wrapping paper, which is now being sold on the black market for astronomical prices.

Forecast 3: The Great Sock Conspiracy

December 24th, 2023 - A shadowy figure known only as 'The Sock Puppeteer' has been pulling the strings of the global sock industry, leading to an unexpected shortage of Christmas socks. Expect widespread panic and sock-related protests.