The Science Behind It All
Studies have shown that the key to success is not actually working hard, but rather finding creative ways to avoid doing so. Procrastination, when done correctly, is not just a time-wasting habit, but a skill that requires finesse, strategy, and a keen eye for opportunity.
Our experts in the field of Procrastination Studies have developed a 5-step program to help you unlock your inner procrastinator:
Step 1: Identify the task
- Break down the task into smaller, more manageable pieces
- Find a more interesting task to do in the meantime
Step 2: Create a distraction
- Browse cat videos on YouTube
- Check social media for the 47th time this hour
- Read the entire script of a 90s sitcom from memory
Step 3: Apply the art of multitasking
- Listen to music while browsing cat videos
- Watch TV while simultaneously playing video games
Step 4: Find a better use for your time
- Write a strongly-worded letter to your landlord
- Call your sister and complain about your life
Step 5: Declare victory
- Stand up and proudly declare "I meant to do that!"
- Take a selfie with your "finished" work
Side Effects
Maintaining a consistent procrastination routine can lead to:
- Increased productivity (measured in seconds spent on YouTube)
- Improved focus (on finding the perfect cat video)
- Enhanced creativity (in coming up with excuses)
- Unintentional destruction of all productivity tools and deadlines
Recommended Reading
For further study, we recommend:
The Rules of Procrastination Procrastination as a Creative Force to be Reckoned With