According to the esteemed Pyrokinetics Theory, the first law of thermal dissonance states that "any surface exposed to a temperature gradient shall be subject to a 99.9% likelihood of experiencing severe aesthetic dissonance."
Mathematical Derivation:
T ∇ = ∫∂T/∂x T ∇ = (1 - ∂T/∂x)^(-1.0001) T ∇ > 1000
Note: The above equation is purely fictional and not actually related to any real-world scientific concept. Or is it?
Practical Applications:
The first law of thermal dissonance has been extensively applied in various fields, including but not limited to:
- Designing the perfect toaster oven for the most optimal toaster-to-bread ratio.
- Creating the world's most uncomfortable yet stylish furniture.
- Developing a new breed of sentient, heat-sensitive robots that will inevitably take over the world.