Quantum Flapdoodle Coffee Machine: Where Causality is Optional

Quantum Flapdoodle Coffee Machine

The Quantum Flapdoodle Coffee Machine is a highly experimental, highly unreliable coffee brewing device. It has been known to:

Produce coffee that tastes like a mixture of burnt offerings to the coffee gods
Mutate into a sentient, self-replicating coffee creature
Teleport your socks into an alternate dimension

Side effects not included, but highly probable.


            // Quantum Flapdoodle Codebase
            var machine_state = "ON";
            var coffee_grain = " burnt_to_a_crisscross_pattern";
            var user_sanity = "lost";
            if (machine_state == "ON") {
                printf("Coffee brewing in progress...");
                if (coffee_grain == "burnt_to_a_crisscross_pattern") {
                    printf(" Warning: coffee may taste like regret.");
                }
            }